Skip over main navigation
  • Log in
  • Basket: (0 items)
  • Pages
  • Alex’s Story
Child Bereavement UK
Call our Helpline 0800 02 888 40 Donate
Menu
  • Support & guidance
    • Find support
      • How we can support you
      • Helpline
      • Other support organisations near you
      • Bereavement support resources in other languages
      • ‎Participate in research
      • What are bereavement and grief?
      • For adults bereaved as children
    • Support for young people
      • Supporting bereaved children
      • Support for bereaved young people
      • Telling a child that someone has died
      • When someone is not expected to live
      • Sudden death - including accidents, suicide and homicide
      • When your partner dies - supporting your children
    • Death of a baby or child
      • When your baby dies
      • Grieving for a child of any age
      • Sudden death; including accidents, suicide and homicide
      • Supporting grieving adults
      • When a child is not expected to live
    • Films, books and resources
      • Short guidance films
      • Short animated films
      • Films about families' experiences
      • Young people's films
      • Books and resources
      • Information and guidance by topic
  • Resources for professionals
    • Resources and guidance
      • Films, books and resources
      • Schools / further education
      • Health and social care
      • Employers
    • Working with bereaved families
      • Supporting bereaved families
      • Supporting yourself and your colleagues
      • Supporting families pre-bereavement
      • Consultancy and supervision
  • Training
    • What we offer
      • Child Bereavement UK training
      • Bespoke training / workplace training
      • Consultancy and supervision
    • Bookings
      • Book training
      • Frequently asked questions
    • Testimonies
      • Professional case studies
  • Get involved
    • Ways to give
      • Make a donation
      • Leave a gift in your Will
      • Make a donation in memory
      • Payroll giving
    • Fundraise for us
      • Take on a challenge
      • Fundraising campaigns and activities
      • Organise your own fundraiser
      • Hear from our fundraisers
    • Other ways to support our work
      • Volunteer with us
      • Attend an event
      • Become a corporate partner
      • Volunteer at a festival
  • About us
    • About our work
      • About Child Bereavement UK
      • Our impact
      • Our people and patrons
      • UK death and bereavement statistics
    • News and stories
      • Case studies
      • Blogs
      • Press releases
      • Newsletters
    • Films
      • Short guidance films
      • Short animated films
      • Bereaved families' experiences
      • Young people's films
    • Get in touch / work with us
      • Contact us
      • Vacancies
      • Volunteer with us
  • Shop
  • Admin
    • Log in
    • Pages
    • Alex’s Story
  • Basket: (0 items)
  1. Support & guidance
  2. Support for young people
  3. Sudden death - including accidents, suicide and homicide

Sudden death - including accidents, suicide and homicide

Bereavement can be devastating in any situation, but a sudden death brings additional layers of shock, horror or disbelief.  The reality of what has happened may be very difficult to accept and you may be desperately searching for meaning and understanding. When the death is unexpected, you may have regrets over lost opportunities and unfulfilled plans. With no chance to say goodbye, there can be a sense of unfinished business, and a need to go over and over the events of what happened.

If a coroner is involved, or there’s a need for a post mortem examination, this may affect the options of seeing the body of the person who has died, or it can delay arrangements for a funeral. This can make the death seem even less real, and make it very hard to believe what has happened or start to grieve.  There may also be media attention, especially when a death is violent. This can be particularly distressing and intrusive to the family.

Things that may help in a sudden death include:

  • Knowing how to contact the professionals involved who can keep you informed, such as a Coroner’s Officer or Family Liaison Officer.
  • Having a friend or contact who may be able to help you keep in touch with agencies or liaise on your behalf.
  • Being able to talk to someone – family and friends, or someone neutral. You can call our Helpline on 0800 02 888 40.

Bereavement after an accident

I will never forget the phone call from my father. He told me Ollie had had an accident and that I needed to meet them at the hospital A&E.

Alongside the feelings of grief, shock, and anger that come with any sudden death, an accidental death may leave you with a great longing to go back in time to change the course of events or intense anger at the senselessness of the accident. You may be angry with someone or something specific, or angry with yourself.  You may have thoughts like ‘if only…’ ‘why didn’t I do..?  Or you may just ask ‘Why?’ over and over again.

Some information about the event may come from the professionals involved, or from an investigation. This may help answer some of your questions about why the accident happened. It may be far harder to face the ‘if only’ questions because they are part of a search for meaning when nothing seems to make sense and there may not be an answer.

When children and young people are affected

Sometimes, children and young people are there at the scene, or they might be exposed to an event that is distressing or frightening in general.  Even if they are not directly involved in the incident themselves, they may be frightened and disturbed in a number of ways. 

It can help to reassure children that feeling scared, anxious or upset for a while is OK and normal, but that they are safe and their routines will continue.  Encouraging them to talk about the event or draw it can help them to make sense of it. Children may re-enact the event through play, for example smashing toy cars together after they’ve learned about a car crash. This is a normal way for children to process information about what has happened, and it can be helpful.

  • Supporting children after a frightening event

Bereavement by suicide or possible suicide

Any death may be difficult to understand or make sense of, especially when it is sudden or unexpected. A death by suicide is likely to be even more difficult for families to face and to understand.  There can be specific challenges for the whole family, and for children and young people when grieving after a suicide.

  • When someone may have died by suicide
  • When a friend dies by suicide

Honest, age-appropriate information helps children, and this can be given in stages. 

  • Supporting children and young people bereaved by suicide

  • Supporting your child when someone dies by suicide

Bereavement by homicide

The additional challenges when bereaved by homicide (murder or manslaughter) can be immense.  They may include unwanted media attention, additional pain if the perpetrator is known or is not convicted, and the fact that your world can now seem a very unsafe place.

Child Bereavement UK ran groups for young people aged 11-25 living in London, who have been bereaved through murder or manslaughter.

The young people talked about the impact on them, including feeling helpless, overwhelmed and at a loss, and scared or unsafe when out in the street.

What they said helped them included:

  • Space to grieve and acknowledge what has happened,
  • access to support programmes or counselling, and
  • people around them who were able to support them, including friends to just spend time with.

The things they found unhelpful included:

  • Media attention,
  • untrue stories about the death, and
  • unhelpful or unkind reactions from other people.

Other information that may be useful:

  • Supporting children and young people bereaved by murder or manslaughter
  • Supporting bereaved children and young people

Published: 20th March, 2019

Updated: 10th March, 2023

Author: Robin Ngai

Share this page
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Latest

  • Jason Watkins and Clara Francis raise awareness of sepsis and child bereavement in ITV documentary

    Child Bereavement UK’s Patrons Jason Watkins and Clara Francis launched a documentary film for ITV1 this week dedicated to their daughter, Maudie, who died when she was two and a half years old.

  • Vitality 10,000

    Vitality 10,000

    London

  • Child Bereavement UK wins silver award in Charity Film Awards

    Child Bereavement UK has won a silver award at the Charity Film Awards 2023 for its short animated film Puddle Jumping.

  • President of National Association of Funeral Directors becomes advisor to Child Bereavement UK

    John Adams, President of the National Association of Funeral Directors (NAFD), has become Funeral Industry Advisor to Child Bereavement UK.

Most read

  • Telling a child that someone has died

    It is important to tell a child of any age when someone important in their lives has died, and ideally this is done by someone who is closest to them.

  • Supporting bereaved children and young people

    Children and young people grieve just as much as adults but they show it in different ways. Find out how you can help them and more about child grieving.

  • Grieving for a child of any age

    The agony of losing a child of any age is unparalleled. There is no age or point in time that makes it any easier. No parent expects to face the death of their child and no grandparent expects to lose their grandchild.

  • When a grandparent dies - the impact on children and young people

    When a grandparent dies - the impact on children and young people

    The death of a grandparent is often a child or young person’s first encounter with the death of someone important. Parents have a great deal to manage when their own parent or carer dies. There is the grief associated with their own loss, but also the reactions and responses of their children to the death of a grandparent.

  • Children's understanding of death at different ages

    Babies and young children have no understanding of the concept of death yet, long before they are able to talk, babies are likely to react to upset and changes in their environment brought about by the absence of a significant person.

  • Child Bereavement UK training

    Child Bereavement UK designs and delivers training for professionals in health and social care, education, the emergency services and the voluntary and corporate sectors, equipping them to provide the best possible care to bereaved families.

  • Contact us

    Contact us

    Contact one of the Child Bereavement UK centres or get in touch with one of our departments.

  • When your baby dies

    When your baby dies

    When a baby lives only a short time or dies before birth due to miscarriage, stillbirth or a painful decision to end the pregnancy, people may assume that the loss is not important. This is simply not the case.

  • UK death & bereavement statistics

    UK death & bereavement statistics

    A parent of children under 18 dies every 22 minutes in the UK; around 23,600 a year. This equates to around 111 children being bereaved of a parent every day.

  • Sudden death - including accidents, suicide and homicide

    Sudden death - including accidents, suicide and homicide

    Bereavement can be devastating in any situation, but a sudden death brings additional layers of shock, horror or disbelief. We can help, find out more here.

Tag cloud

Child Bereavement UK Death of a baby Death of a parent Explaining death to children films Glasgow Information Sheet 2020 Nursery teacher parenting a bereaved child returning to school short film short guidance films Stillbirth Watford Young People's Advisory Group YPAG
Short guidance films

Short guidance films

Our short films are delivered by support practitioners and cover a range of topics on grief and bereavement, providing guidance on what can help. Read more

Published: 25th March, 2019

Updated: 1st December, 2021

Author: Robin Ngai

Books and resources

Books and resources

A list of books and resources relating to grief and bereavement and what may help. Read more

Published: 21st October, 2021

Updated: 30th November, 2021

Author: Harriet Hieatt-Smith

Others' experiences

Others' experiences

Some bereaved families find it helpful to read about other peoples’ experiences and how the support they have received has helped them. Read more

Published: 30th November, 2021

Updated: 1st December, 2021

Author: Emma Van Allan

Connect with us

Sign up to our newsletter and connect with us on social media to keep up to date with our latest news, activities and services. We'll never sell or swap your details with anybody else. You are free to change your mind at anytime.

Sign up to our newsletter
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • LinkedIn
  • Instagram
  • Contact us
  • Work with us
  • Sitemap
  • Terms & Conditions
  • Accessibility

Registered in England and Wales: 1040419 and Scotland: SCO42910

Copyright 2023 Child Bereavement UK

Manage Cookie Preferences