When someone dies in an accident Expand I will never forget the phone call from my father. He told me Ollie had had an accident and that I needed to meet them at the hospital A&E. Alongside the feelings of grief and shock that come with any sudden death, an accidental death may leave you with a sense of wanting to change the course of events. You may feel intense anger at the senselessness of the accident or with someone or something specific, or even with yourself. You may be overwhelmed with thoughts such as 'Why?', 'If only...' or 'Why didn’t I?'. If you were not present, some information about the accident may come from the professionals involved such as emergency services, or from an investigation, which may help answer some of your questions about why the accident happened. If there is little information and nothing makes sense and there may be no answer, this can be very difficult to deal with. It can help to talk things through any difficult feelings with a bereavement support practitioner. Supporting a child after someone dies in an accident Sometimes, other children and young people may witness, be involved or be at the scene of an accident or may be exposed to an event that is distressing or frightening. Even if they are not directly involved in the incident themselves, they may be frightened and disturbed in a number of ways. Read our resource for more on supporting a child after a frightening event. It can help to reassure a child that feeling scared, anxious or upset for a while is OK and normal, but that they are safe and their routines will continue. Encouraging them to talk about the event or express their feelings through drawings can help them to make sense of it. Young children may re-enact the event through play, for example smashing toy cars together after they have learned about a car accident. Even though this can be distressing and very difficult for you, it is a normal way for children to process information about what has happened. How a child responds will depend on their age and understanding of death and dying. What happens if a coroner needs to be involved? If a coroner is involved, or there is a need for a post-mortem examination, this may affect the options of seeing the body of the person who has died, or it can delay arrangements for a funeral. This can make it very hard to believe what has happened or to start to grieve. There may also be media attention, which can be particularly distressing and intrusive to the family. Things that may help include knowing how to contact the professionals involved who can keep you informed, such as a Coroner’s Officer or Family Liaison Officer; having a friend or contact who may be able to help you keep in touch with agencies or liaise on your behalf; and being able to talk to someone – family and friends, or someone neutral such as a bereavement support professional on our Helpline. For more on what happens in a Coroners’ Court, The Ministry of Justice has produced a guide to coroner services for bereaved people. The Coroners' Court Support Service is an independent voluntary organisation whose trained volunteers offer emotional support and practical help to bereaved families, witnesses and others attending an Inquest at the Coroner's Court. Visit our page: How we can support you for more on our services. You can also call our Helpline 0800 02 888 40, email [email protected], or use Live Chat on our website.
When someone dies by suicide Expand When someone may have died by suicide the grieving process can often be more complex, intense and longer, although the actual experiences of grief may be similar to other bereavements. Death by suicide is particularly shocking because it goes against our natural survival instinct that we should live and thrive. The suddenness and nature of the death can be deeply upsetting or harrowing and hard to make sense of. Some people feel a social taboo in discussing suicide, which can make it even more difficult to talk about it openly. When a child dies by suicide Death can be particularly difficult to understand or make sense of when it is sudden or unexpected. When your child dies by suicide it can be devastating and extremely difficult to face and to understand. There can be specific challenges for the whole family, and for children and young people when grieving after a suicide and it can be helpful to talk to a bereavement support practitioner. Supporting a child after someone dies by suicide Supporting your child when someone has died by suicide can be difficult when you are in shock and grieving yourself and it can be very difficult to talk about what has happened. Adults often want to protect children from the truth and may worry about explaining suicide, as they do not want children to realise someone can choose to end their own life. However, children are much more able to deal with difficult events in the longer-term if they are given open and honest, age-appropriate information, time for questions and space to express their feelings. See our resource for more on telling a child that someone has died. For a young person, the death of a friend by suicide can be a huge shock and a devastating experience. The traumatic nature of the death, often coupled with a lack of information to explain why your friend ended their own life, can make grieving complicated and confusing. Your child might find it difficult to talk about their feelings and it may help for your child to speak to a professional such as a bereavement support practitioner. What happens if a coroner needs to be involved? If a coroner is involved, or there is a need for a post-mortem examination, this may affect the options of seeing the body of the person who has died, or it can delay arrangements for a funeral. This can make it very hard to believe what has happened or to start to grieve. There may also be media attention, which can be particularly distressing and intrusive to the family. Things that may help include knowing how to contact the professionals involved who can keep you informed, such as a Coroner’s Officer or Family Liaison Officer; having a friend or contact who may be able to help you keep in touch with agencies or liaise on your behalf; and being able to talk to someone – family and friends, or someone neutral such as a bereavement support professional on our Helpline. For more on what happens in a Coroners’ Court, The Ministry of Justice has produced a guide to coroner services for bereaved people. The Coroners' Court Support Service is an independent voluntary organisation whose trained volunteers offer emotional support and practical help to bereaved families, witnesses and others attending an Inquest at a Coroner’s Court. Visit our page: How we can support you for more on our services. You can also call our Helpline 0800 02 888 40, email [email protected], or use Live Chat on our website.
When someone dies by homicide Expand When someone dies by homicide (murder or manslaughter) it is devastating and challenges can be immense. They may include unwanted media attention, additional pain if the person responsible is known or is not convicted, and the fact that your world can now seem a very unsafe place. Supporting a child when someone dies by homicide When someone dies by homicide, the emotional impact of the sudden, violent loss is enormous for all family members and it can be extremely difficult for siblings and others close to the person. Children will need support to help them deal with what has happened, even though the truth is difficult and shocking. While it may seem kinder to withhold information, it is likely that a child will overhear a conversation, see something in the media or on social media, or be told by someone at school. It is important that they are told the news as soon as possible in a safe place, by someone they are close to and who can support them on an ongoing basis. See our resources for further guidance on telling a child that someone has died and on supporting a child after a frightening event. When your child dies by homicide The death of a child of any age is devastating and when a child dies by homicide, your grief may be further complicated by the uncertainty, fear and the lack of control that can come with a death by murder or manslaughter. It may not be possible to view your child’s body and a funeral and other opportunities to remember your child's life may be delayed by the need for a police investigation or the involvement of the coroner. Ways to help you cope can include finding other ways in which to remember your child and ensuring you look after yourself at this extremely difficult time. Friends and family are often a source of support but, if you need to speak to someone outside the family, you may find it helpful to speak to an experienced professional who can support you in a way that feels right for you, including from our support services. What happens if a coroner needs to be involved? If a coroner is involved, or there is a need for a post-mortem examination, this may affect the options of seeing the body of the person who has died, or it can delay arrangements for a funeral. This can make it very hard to believe what has happened or to start to grieve. There may also be media attention which can be particularly distressing and intrusive to the family. Things that may help include knowing how to contact the professionals involved who can keep you informed, such as a Coroner’s Officer or Family Liaison Officer; having a friend or contact who may be able to help you keep in touch with agencies or liaise on your behalf; and being able to talk to someone – family and friends, or someone neutral such as a bereavement support professional on our Helpline. For more on what happens in a Coroners’ Court, The Ministry of Justice has produced a guide to coroner services for bereaved people. The Coroners' Court Support Service is an independent voluntary organisation whose trained volunteers offer emotional support and practical help to bereaved families, witnesses and others attending an Inquest at a Coroner’s Court. Visit our page: How we can support you for more on our services. You can also call our Helpline 0800 02 888 40, email [email protected], or use Live Chat on our website.