"Christmas has always been an extremely hard time of the year for us both"

Matt and Joanna lost their twin boys, Oliver and Joseph, in May 2009 to an infection of the gut at one month and one week old respectively. Since then Christmas has always been an extremely hard time year for them both.

The first Christmas after we lost the boys, I remember that seeing other children playing and opening presents was one of the hardest things I have had to sit through in my life.

I felt like a spoilt child who did not get what they wanted from Father Christmas. I felt like I was spoiling everyone else's Christmas by just being there. It was certainly the worst Christmas ever.

We always set aside some special time for our boys at Christmas, over the years this time has manifested into a much happier time where we chat to them and toast them with a glass of champagne. They even both have their own stocking by the fireplace.

Christmas is definitely completely changed for us since we lost the boys. The excitement of Christmas is much more muted, it's as if it is just a normal holiday with some nice food and quality time with the family. It will never be the same as it was before I know, but we are learning to cope with it in a different way now.

Pictured: Joanna and Matt with daughters Ellena and Georgina

Light a candle for families like Joanne and Matt this Christmas

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Bereavement Support Practitioner | Full-time | Cheshire

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Understanding traumatic bereavement in children and young people

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Child Bereavement UK training

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Children's understanding of death at different ages

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