Ali Norell writes about how her family keeps her daughter's memory alive

Right from the outset, we made a conscious choice that Romy's name would live on in our family and that we would remember, and celebrate her life with as much positivity as we could.

When our five month old daughter, Romy died in 2014, our two older children were four and five years old. In the midst of our own grief, we struggled to know how to communicate what was happening and received a lot of conflicting information as to what to do and how we should do it. Eventually, someone pointed us to Child Bereavement UK whose advice supported our instinct to be truthful with our children and to talk about their sister and what had happened. Right from the outset, we made a conscious choice that Romy's name would live on in our family and that we would remember, and celebrate her life with as much positivity as we could.

We involved the children in Romy's memorial service. Our daughter handed out crystals to the attendees and, at our son's request, we all travelled with Romy to the service in a camper van! As weird as this may sound, after the burial we drove to a local campsite and camped overnight. We worried that this was somehow inappropriate, but as we sat and watched the children scampering around the fire and making friends, we realised that this was giving them a positive association. The alternative would have been sitting at home watching me cry, so the choice of being close to nature, together as a family, was the right one for us.

Each Christmas, the children choose a new tree ornament for Romy, which they hang when we decorate it. This way, she is present in lots of family celebrations where she might otherwise be missed.

We bake a cake for Romy every year on her birthday and the children look forward to going to her resting place to sit in the spring sunshine, eat cake and sing 'Happy Birthday.' Even our youngest son, born just a year after Romy's death, will drop her name into conversation occasionally. We moved house just before he was born and designed an area of our garden with rose bushes and a bench some friends had made for us with her name on it and the children will often ask to go and sit with their drink or snack in 'Romy's Garden'. Each Christmas, the children choose a new tree ornament for Romy, which they hang when we decorate it. This way, she is present in lots of family celebrations where she might otherwise be missed.

As much as I still feel the pain of her loss, I am happy that our children understand that death does not need to mean that a person is never spoken of again.

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