How making a painting for Child Bereavement UK helped me cope with grieving for my son, who died just after he was born.  

By Bien

 I hope that one day I can return to Child Bereavement UK and show my youngest son the picture and tell him this is the place I came to speak about and remember his big brother.

I wanted to make a painting as a way to say to my son that I am sorry for not being able to give him the life I wanted to give him. I painted him and drew around him the scene of my home village- mountains with the sun shining, rice fields, a river, my childhood home, a garden, a fruit tree and flowers. 

When I was making the painting, I felt that it would  be as if he were alive and playing in the fields and swimming in the river, like I did growing up in my village. I wrote my son’s name on the painting, Thien, which means "sky" and An meaning "peace", so that peace from heaven would come to him.  I also made a memory box as, since his grave is in Vietnam, it’s a way I can honour him and make something nice for him as I did not have the opportunity to do this for him when he was alive. 

When you carry a child inside you and only hold him for a moment before he dies, you are going to experience incredible pain, but you will keep living and must find a way to live your life because maybe your child can see you and wants you to find happiness and to continue to love and be in the world. 

I wanted this artwork to be a  memorial to him alongside the artwork and pictures of other children who come to Child Bereavement UK.  I hope that one day I can return to Child Bereavement UK and show my youngest son the picture and tell him this is the place I came to speak about and remember his big brother.

---

Visit our page: How we can support you for more on our services.

You can also call our Helpline 0800 02 888 40, email [email protected], or use Live Chat on our website.