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  • working-with-bereaved-families
  1. Resources for professionals
  2. Working with bereaved families
  3. Supporting bereaved families

Supporting bereaved families

Working with families who are grieving can feel daunting, especially when a baby or child has died. Some professionals may feel inadequately trained or supported to offer the kind of response they feel families need.

Nothing we can do or say can take away the pain of bereavement, but families tell us of the importance of sensitive care. Poor care can intensify and prolong a family’s distress, whilst care that is sensitive and appropriate can help families in their grief. The effects of this are positive and long-lasting.

Supporting bereaved families includes good communication, responding to their needs in a timely way, and being emotionally self-aware.

It is important to be able to reflect on your own experiences and needs, and your own attitudes to death and dying. This can help you to be aware of your own reactions, and therefore your particular strengths and any weaknesses when supporting others.

Listening and communicating

Listening to others means using all our senses to pick up on what the person is communicating, and it involves much more than just what we are hearing.

Good communication involves:

  • Having the right environment, preferably where you will not be disturbed.
  • Being compassionately clear about the time the person or family can have with you to talk. This creates a safe environment where they know what they can expect, and it avoids the interaction ending abruptly.
  • Listening to the words, the tone of voice and the feelings being conveyed.
  • Observing body language and facial expressions, and noticing what is not being said as well as what is said.
  • Showing your interest and empathy through good eye contact, your tone of voice and body language.
  • Checking with the person that you have both heard and understood the key messages.

Sharing our humanity can make a real difference

Some professionals feel they should have strong emotional control and that it is a weakness to show their emotions in a professional setting. However, as a professional, your emotions often mirror those of the family. If you are genuinely moved by a situation, it is OK to express your feelings with a warm gesture or by saying “I’m sorry”.  This shows that you care and also that is it alright for the bereaved person to express their own painful feelings in that setting.

When working with bereaved families, it is generally helpful to mention the person who has died, rather than to avoid the topic.  This can help families to feel their loss is acknowledged.

There are no set answers or ways of dealing with a particular situation. We are continually learning from bereaved families and finding new ways in which we can support them.

Child Bereavement UK trains and supports professionals and volunteers  whose work brings them into contact with bereaved families.

Traumatic bereavement resources for professionals

The UK Trauma Council has created a portfolio of free resources for school staff, bereavement services and NHS mental health services. Read more

Published: 18th May, 2021

Updated: 8th October, 2021

Author: Jenny Anglissq

Easy Read guides for adults

Easy Read guides for adults

Our Easy Read guides on bereavement and funerals present written information for people with difficulty reading. Read more

Published: 16th December, 2020

Updated: 26th February, 2023

Author: Harriet Hieatt-Smith

Supporting children when someone has died - guidance for healthcare professionals

Advice for health professionals on supporting children when someone important to them has died in hospital. Read more

Published: 27th March, 2019

Updated: 25th February, 2023

Author: Jenny Anglissq

Supporting children when someone is dying

Generally parents or main carers are the best people to talk about sad news with their children. Read more

Published: 27th March, 2019

Updated: 8th October, 2021

Author: Jenny Anglissq

When a baby or child has died - guidance for medical professionals

When a baby or child has died - guidance for medical professionals

Telling parents or carers that their baby or child has died. Read more

Published: 27th March, 2019

Updated: 25th February, 2023

Author: Jenny Anglissq

Supporting adults before their child dies - guidance for medical professionals

Supporting adults before their child dies - guidance for medical professionals

This information is mostly aimed at medical professionals, although it may also be helpful for other professionals involved in a family’s care at this time. Read more

Published: 27th March, 2019

Updated: 25th February, 2023

Author: Jenny Anglissq

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Showing 10 of 6

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  • Child Bereavement UK wins silver award in Charity Film Awards

    Child Bereavement UK has won a silver award at the Charity Film Awards 2023 for its short animated film Puddle Jumping.

  • President of National Association of Funeral Directors becomes advisor to Child Bereavement UK

    John Adams, President of the National Association of Funeral Directors (NAFD), has become Funeral Industry Advisor to Child Bereavement UK.

Most read

  • Telling a child that someone has died

    It is important to tell a child of any age when someone important in their lives has died, and ideally this is done by someone who is closest to them.

  • Supporting bereaved children and young people

    Children and young people grieve just as much as adults but they show it in different ways. Find out how you can help them and more about child grieving.

  • Grieving for a child of any age

    The agony of losing a child of any age is unparalleled. There is no age or point in time that makes it any easier. No parent expects to face the death of their child and no grandparent expects to lose their grandchild.

  • When a grandparent dies - the impact on children and young people

    When a grandparent dies - the impact on children and young people

    The death of a grandparent is often a child or young person’s first encounter with the death of someone important. Parents have a great deal to manage when their own parent or carer dies. There is the grief associated with their own loss, but also the reactions and responses of their children to the death of a grandparent.

  • Children's understanding of death at different ages

    Babies and young children have no understanding of the concept of death yet, long before they are able to talk, babies are likely to react to upset and changes in their environment brought about by the absence of a significant person.

  • Child Bereavement UK training

    Child Bereavement UK designs and delivers training for professionals in health and social care, education, the emergency services and the voluntary and corporate sectors, equipping them to provide the best possible care to bereaved families.

  • Contact us

    Contact us

    Contact one of the Child Bereavement UK centres or get in touch with one of our departments.

  • When your baby dies

    When your baby dies

    When a baby lives only a short time or dies before birth due to miscarriage, stillbirth or a painful decision to end the pregnancy, people may assume that the loss is not important. This is simply not the case.

  • UK death & bereavement statistics

    UK death & bereavement statistics

    A parent of children under 18 dies every 22 minutes in the UK; around 23,600 a year. This equates to around 111 children being bereaved of a parent every day.

  • Sudden death - including accidents, suicide and homicide

    Sudden death - including accidents, suicide and homicide

    Bereavement can be devastating in any situation, but a sudden death brings additional layers of shock, horror or disbelief. We can help, find out more here.

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Child Bereavement UK Death of a baby Death of a parent Explaining death to children films Glasgow Information Sheet 2020 Nursery teacher parenting a bereaved child returning to school short film short guidance films Stillbirth Watford Young People's Advisory Group YPAG
Short guidance films

Short guidance films

Our short films are delivered by support practitioners and cover a range of topics on grief and bereavement, providing guidance on what can help. Read more

Published: 25th March, 2019

Updated: 1st December, 2021

Author: Robin Ngai

Books and resources

Books and resources

A list of books and resources relating to grief and bereavement and what may help. Read more

Published: 21st October, 2021

Updated: 30th November, 2021

Author: Harriet Hieatt-Smith

Others' experiences

Others' experiences

Some bereaved families find it helpful to read about other peoples’ experiences and how the support they have received has helped them. Read more

Published: 30th November, 2021

Updated: 1st December, 2021

Author: Emma Van Allan

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